Newbies Corner: Show Don't Tell

with Sharon Burke

Fiction writing courses and “how to” books frequently advise novice authors to show rather than tell. Doing this effectively is a great challenge for many new fiction writers, and a necessary precursor to publication.

Showing what your characters are going through brings your writing to life and enhances your readers' emotional experience.




There are several ways to achieve this.

Use more dialogue: Could some of the narrative sections in your novel or short story be rewritten as dialogue? Dialogue has immediacy and power. It helps your readers feel they are witnessing the scene you created.

For example, in Outback Dreams, Rachel Johns could simply have written Faith told Monty's mum, Monty was pursuing Ruby Jones. Instead Rachel captures our interest with animated dialogue, letting us know this information together with Faith's low opinion of Ruby: ''Monty barely stops work long enough to meet eligible women, and anyway, the only one he's shown any interest in recently is princess Ruby Jones.''








Use descriptive and sensory language: Using narrative to describe your viewpoint character's emotions with language linking these to the five senses helps your reader vicariously experience what the character is going through.

In The Beast's Garden, Kate Forsyth uses sensory and highly descriptive language to describe what the heroine experiences as she races towards a burning synagogue:
Shards of glass littered the road. Someone was painting “Jew” in bloody red letters across the wall. Someone else was beating and kicking a bundles of old rags in the gutter. Ava saw an arm flop. She caught hold of the window-sill, suddenly unable to take a breath.








Be more specific: Take the time to analyse novels from the sub-genre for which you are aiming. Notice the degree of detail and type of language the author uses to show rather than tell. Try rewriting some scenes from your own work applying what you have learned.

Are there times when you should tell rather than show with your writing? When is telling rather than showing most appropriate?

I love to love: I'm going to the ballet with my Dad tonight. I can't wait to spend the evening with him.

I love to laugh: A new series of the ABC comedy Upper Middle Bogan is currently being filmed. I'll either be glued to the television or buying a boxed DVD set. Probably both.


I love to learn: We did a marvellous novel plotting exercise in our writers' group last month. I learnt so much, and will definitely use these techniques again.