5 Suggestions for Writing Believable Male Characters

with Marilyn Forsyth



The male and female brain are hard-wired differently.

I’ve been told that the male characters I write are well-rounded and believable. Observing the mannerisms and traits of my two grown sons over the years, as well as seeing their reactions to different life situations has given me some idea of the way males think and behave, (or so I like to believe *grin*). A few years back I undertook an online course called ‘Understanding Men’ (with Dr Debra Holland, romance author and psychotherapist), which also gave credence to my own insights into the male psyche.

I’ve tried to analyse my process when writing from a male point of view and here are 5 suggestions for writing believable heroes.

gif courtesy of gify

1. Initially, a man is attracted to a woman's looks. Above all else, when he first meets the heroine, he is going to focus on her visual appeal. (It's only as the relationship unfolds that he learns to love the person inside.)

2. Men prefer to talk side by side rather than face to face. Unless a confrontation is taking place, I often try to have my hero and heroine going for a walk or a drive, or participating in an activity where they are not directly looking at one another. Also, my female characters usually talk in complete sentences while my men tend to use fragments and much shorter sentences.

gif courtesy of gify

1. 3. In conversation with women, men focus more on the words being spoken than tone of voice or body language, so they often either miss or misread vital clues as to how the heroine is actually feeling. This can be great for comic effect, e.g. when her verbal response is sarcastic and all she wants to do is hit him over the head, he takes her smile as genuine.

4. When writing an argument between the main characters bear in mind that a man’s thought process is ‘How will I win this?’ while a woman is thinking ‘What do I have to do to make him understand?’ It’s also worth keeping in mind that, under extreme duress, a woman expresses her feelings with words, but a man is just as likely to respond with a physical action e.g. punching something.

5. A lot of men have difficulty communicating their feelings in words. They need to withdraw to their cave and/or participate in some sort of physical activity to think things through, try to solve the problem, and perhaps come up with an idea for a grand romantic gesture. A handy place for this to occur is after the Black Moment.

As authors, we create heroes we want our readers to fall in love with to the same degree we have fallen in love with them. And because we write heroes as we’d like them to be (a man who shows integrity, loyalty, and a willingness to protect the woman he’s come to love), they can be a little too good to be true. But if you have your hero exhibiting some typical male traits throughout the story, you’re on your way to creating believable male characters.

Who is your favourite book boyfriend and what do you love most about him? (No prizes for guessing who mine is :) )

Love to Love all my fabulous friends and family who attended the book launch for 'The Farmer's Perfect Match'. I had the best time! So glad my lovely hubby talked me into having it.

Love to Laugh at the crazy situation created by the poll to name Britain's latest polar research vessel. 'Boaty McBoatface' won by about 90 000 votes. I love it! (But, sadly, I can't see it happening.)

Love to Learn via online writing courses because I don't have to get dressed. RWA has some fabulous OWLs coming up. I particularly like the look of Sandy Vaile's 'Treat Backstory Like a Pungent Spice', starting on June 6th. Find out about more OWLs (Online Workshop List) here: http://www.romanceaustralia.com/new/showowls.asp

It would be remiss to let ANZAC Day pass by without acknowledging all those unsung heroes who fought to protect the way of life that we here in Australia are so privileged to live today.

Lest we forget.

Courage to Write

with Dee Scully

Remember my last post? How I said, “Write what you know…about yourself.” Put yourself into your stories. Remember that? Well…I stand by it, but…

I’m afraid. Terrified actually. And that fear is keeping me from publication.

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I’m not afraid of the things that psychologists usually list as self-actualization limiters…hard work, success, or even failure. I am a hard worker by nature which helps me to excel at whatever I choose to do (and thus avoid failure). But even though I’ve put in hours, years even, of hard work writing, I haven’t yet succeeded at it…and by writing success I mean publication.

It wasn’t until I started digging deep into the psyche of my heroine that I realized what it is that truly frightens me…opening myself up to others and allowing them to glimpse the inner me. I’m afraid of rejection…not of my books, but of me.

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I wrote and finished my first manuscript a few years ago. While it had structural integrity and contained all the right bits in all the right places, it lacked sparkle, shine—sizzazzle. It was boring.

Late one night (after a few drinks), I was about to put my manuscript in the great Ethernet bin and mark it up as a first-manuscript learning curve when I had a thought. Why not give my heroine my greatest flaw? You know, write what you know…and I know me best so why not put me into a character? I thought it was genius! I was genius! I started re-writing and suddenly my heroine had shine, my story had sparkle, my romance had sizzazzle!

Fantastic, right? No. I’d written a very safe (but boring) first draft. The revised version is anything but safe. This one has me in it! While it is a fantastic manuscript I’m terrified of ‘putting it out there’ for others to judge.

My greatest flaw is that I lack courage. I’m a coward. I hide in my imaginary world and pretend that success isn’t the be all, end all that others make it out to be, but it is…or at least from the shadows of my imagination it is.

So, I’m taking a deep breath, a gulp really, and putting myself into my heroine. That’s fair…I mean I put me into her, so why shouldn’t she reciprocate, right? She’s a fictional character and as such she has a great character arc. Her greatest flaw becomes her greatest attribute and eventually saves the day. Why can’t it be that way in real life? I think it can…for me AND for you.

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If you’re lacking courage try the steps my heroine went through to attain her ‘happy forever after.’

1 Name it—figure out exactly what it is that you fear.

2 Get smart—find out as much as you can about what it is you fear.

3 Step out of your comfort zone—change old ways of dealing (or not dealing) with your fear. Do something different.

4 Fake it until you make it—pretend courage and eventually you will be courageous.

5 Believe in yourself—you can and will do it.

Let’s get started on a new you for the new year. What is it that you fear and what’s one thing you are going to do to get out of your comfort zone and move toward courage?

I love to love my imagination…and where it might take me next.
I love to laugh at my fear…it helps build my courage.
I love to learn how other writers create 'real' characters.  Do Kristan Higgins, Julie Garwood, Lynn Kurland, Karen Marie Moning, Kylie Scott, Nikki Logan, Eleni Konstantine...and the hundred or so other writers in my favourites collection write about what (who) they know best--themselves, do you think?

Until Later...happy writing!
D