That All-Important First Line

with Marilyn Forsyth

I love it when I open a book and the first sentence totally grabs me, forcing me to read just a little more, and then I end up reading the whole first page (or even more, depending on how busy the bookstore is J). That's a book I’ll buy.

So what makes a great opening sentence? I’ve narrowed it down to 5 techniques.

1. Arouse Curiosity. By throwing the reader immediately into the action, the author raises questions the reader simply must read on further to find the answers to. A great example of this is from Mandy Magro’s 'The Wildwood Sisters' (Romantic Suspense): Her laboured breath escaping her in short, painful gasps, the girl staggered through the engulfing darkness, the towering ghost gums she’d found so beautifully mesmerising in the daylight now seeming menacing and foreboding.

2. Set Time and Place. A first sentence that establishes time and place immediately grounds the reader. Teresa Medeiros does this really well in 'Goodnight Tweetheart' (Contemporary Romance): In her darker moments Abby Donovan had often fantasised that her career of choice might lead her to become intimately acquainted with the phrase ‘Would you like fries with that?’ but she’d never guessed she’d end up embracing the traditional uniform of working women the world over-the bunny costume.

3. A Strong Sense of Impending Trouble. Actually, even the merest hint that trouble is about to break out is enough to invite the reader to keep reading, but Judy Nunn hits the reader over the head in her opening line to 'Spirits of the Ghan': James McQuillan knew he was a dead man. (Australian fiction)

4. Introduce a Unique Character. A short piece of dialogue or brief description can be enough to give insight into an intriguing character the reader will want to know more about. Cassandra Samuels found a unique way to introduce the reader to her heroine in 'A Scandalous Wager' (Regency Romance): From the diary of Lisbeth Carslake, Countess of Blackhurst… I refuse to give in to the curse of the Black Raven.

5. Establish the Writer’s Style. The tone of a book is apparent from the opening sentence, so make the reader laugh or take them by surprise or provide them with an instant image, something to show your distinctive writer’s voice. Juliet Marillier does this so well in all her books. I love this from 'Twixt Firelight and Water: A Tale of Sevenwaters' (Historical Fantasy):
A fair maid in the wildwood lies
A raven pecks her sightless eyes
Then wings into the heavens again
To shriek his song of death and pain.

I have a tale to tell.

Crafting the perfect opening line takes a lot of thought, but remember: you don’t have to make your first sentence perfect before continuing on with your story (although it’s a Procrastinator’s dream defence J)  Personally, I’ve changed the beginning sentences of my books more times than I’d like to admit, but I do try to save that for the editing stage.

Do you have a favourite opening line you’d like to share? When you read, is the first sentence a deal-breaker/deal-maker for you?


Here’s a bit of fun for those who might need help to get started with their opening lines. These are from Clifford Fryman’s 'Story Starters'.

What a huge mistake.

He got hit by a car just to get her attention.

What do you do when the thing you need most is from the person you like least?

Love to Love: meeting the original Time Slip Queen (IMO, anyway), Barbara Erskine, at the Hay-on-Wye Festival. 'Lady of Hay' was first published 30 years ago so Barbara kindly signed my original copy and the Anniversary edition.

Love to Laugh: at the Scottish accent (in a good way). Had so much fun trying to work out that the 'coo' the lady was referring to was actually a cow.

Love to Learn: about aspects of British history from people passionate about keeping history alive. It was fascinating to have my many questions answered by the different characters at this re-created mediaeval fayre last month at Harlech Castle in Wales.