Monday 4 July 2016

That All-Important First Line


with Marilyn Forsyth

I love it when I open a book and the first sentence totally grabs me, forcing me to read just a little more, and then I end up reading the whole first page (or even more, depending on how busy the bookstore is J). That's a book I’ll buy.

So what makes a great opening sentence? I’ve narrowed it down to 5 techniques.


1. Arouse Curiosity. By throwing the reader immediately into the action, the author raises questions the reader simply must read on further to find the answers to. A great example of this is from Mandy Magro’s 'The Wildwood Sisters' (Romantic Suspense): Her laboured breath escaping her in short, painful gasps, the girl staggered through the engulfing darkness, the towering ghost gums she’d found so beautifully mesmerising in the daylight now seeming menacing and foreboding.





2. Set Time and Place. A first sentence that establishes time and place immediately grounds the reader. Teresa Medeiros does this really well in 'Goodnight Tweetheart' (Contemporary Romance): In her darker moments Abby Donovan had often fantasised that her career of choice might lead her to become intimately acquainted with the phrase ‘Would you like fries with that?’ but she’d never guessed she’d end up embracing the traditional uniform of working women the world over-the bunny costume.






3. A Strong Sense of Impending Trouble. Actually, even the merest hint that trouble is about to break out is enough to invite the reader to keep reading, but Judy Nunn hits the reader over the head in her opening line to 'Spirits of the Ghan': James McQuillan knew he was a dead man. (Australian fiction)



4. Introduce a Unique Character. A short piece of dialogue or brief description can be enough to give insight into an intriguing character the reader will want to know more about. Cassandra Samuels found a unique way to introduce the reader to her heroine in 'A Scandalous Wager' (Regency Romance): From the diary of Lisbeth Carslake, Countess of Blackhurst… I refuse to give in to the curse of the Black Raven.


5. Establish the Writer’s Style. The tone of a book is apparent from the opening sentence, so make the reader laugh or take them by surprise or provide them with an instant image, something to show your distinctive writer’s voice. Juliet Marillier does this so well in all her books. I love this from 'Twixt Firelight and Water: A Tale of Sevenwaters' (Historical Fantasy):
A fair maid in the wildwood lies
A raven pecks her sightless eyes
Then wings into the heavens again
To shriek his song of death and pain.

I have a tale to tell.


Crafting the perfect opening line takes a lot of thought, but remember: you don’t have to make your first sentence perfect before continuing on with your story (although it’s a Procrastinator’s dream defence J)  Personally, I’ve changed the beginning sentences of my books more times than I’d like to admit, but I do try to save that for the editing stage.

Do you have a favourite opening line you’d like to share? When you read, is the first sentence a deal-breaker/deal-maker for you?


Here’s a bit of fun for those who might need help to get started with their opening lines. These are from Clifford Fryman’s 'Story Starters'.

What a huge mistake.

He got hit by a car just to get her attention.

What do you do when the thing you need most is from the person you like least?





Love to Love: meeting the original Time Slip Queen (IMO, anyway), Barbara Erskine, at the Hay-on-Wye Festival. 'Lady of Hay' was first published 30 years ago so Barbara kindly signed my original copy and the Anniversary edition.


Love to Laugh: at the Scottish accent (in a good way). Had so much fun trying to work out that the 'coo' the lady was referring to was actually a cow.






Love to Learn: about aspects of British history from people passionate about keeping history alive. It was fascinating to have my many questions answered by the different characters at this re-created mediaeval fayre last month at Harlech Castle in Wales.

16 comments:

  1. Hi Marilyn, so many books, so many opening lines...! But their importance can't be underrated. I don't know how many times I've picked up a book, admired the cover and the blurb, turned to the first page and...urgh, b.o.r.i.n.g. Or info dump. Or so obtuse you've got no idea where the author is starting. Down goes the book. If I keep reading and the first page appeals, the author has me. Love all those first lines you picked out.

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    1. Hi Malvina! I have to tell you I read through a LOT of my books to find really good examples of first lines. So I guess what that means is that, for me, the first sentence doesn't necessarily have to grab me, but the first page MUST do exactly that. I do love a gripping first line though!

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  2. Hey, Marilyn Forsyth! Love this topic. For me the first sentence itself doesn't have to be amazing, but...the rest of that first page better be. So in a sense that first sentence needs to lead into something that will keep me reading.

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    1. Hi Dee! I totally agree with you about the first page being a gripping read, not necessarily the first sentence, but I do appreciate a great first line that immediately captures my attention.

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  3. Hi Marilyn, the first sentence of a novel isn't a deal breaker for me, but when it's really intriguing I feel excited and hopeful that the book will be fabulous to read.

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    1. Like you, Sharon, for me first sentences aren't a deal breaker, but I do appreciate time and effort being put into delivering a standout first line.

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  4. Interesting post, Marilyn, and thanks for including an example from my work! I like an opening sentence that is intriguing and shows the flavour of the novel. How about this one from Saskia Sarginson's The Twins (one of my favourite books, with a wonderful understated love story):
    We weren't always twins. We used to be just one person.

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    1. Hi Juliet! So glad you dropped by. I love your writing voice - it is so distinctive - and I've enjoyed all of your books. Ooh! I haven't read The Twins but I do like that intriguing first sentence. Thanks for sharing. :)

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  5. What a fabulous topic, Marilyn! Thank you for including my book baby, The Wildwood Sisters. With most of my time spent writing, I need a book to grab me on the first page or I tend to put the book down.

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    1. Hi Mandy! Nice to see you here. Happy to include the quote from The Wildwood Sisters because it was immediately after reading that first line (followed by the rest of the first page) that I bought the book. :)

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  6. Hi Marilyn. Thanks for showing the powet a first line can have in grabbing a reader's attention. As for being a deal breaker, not so for me. I always read the first page. So much more is revealed there. The style, the tone, and so on. If I turn the page the story has caught me and I usually buy the book.

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    1. Thanks for dropping by, Enisa. As a reader I always read the first page, too, but as an author I love finding a book that grabs me from the first line.

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  7. Hi Marilyn. Thank you for using my book as an example. I love first paragraphs and really the first page and chapter I spend a lot of time on for all the reasons the others above have mentioned.

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    1. Hi Cassandra! My pleasure to use your first sentence from A Scandalous Wager as it's such a good example of a great opening line.

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  8. Hi Marilyn, I enjoyed your article, and examples of great opening lines. I love those that set an intriguing mystery to be solved, or open up the mind to a whole new world of the imagination. Thank you.

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    1. Hi Claire, I just found this comment in the 'waiting for moderation' section of the blog (Who knew there was such a thing??). Anyway, thanks so much for dropping by and I'm glad you enjoyed the post. :)

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