Monday 10 April 2017

What is love? Part one

By Cassandra Samuels

What is love - by Take That.

What is love?
is it a truth?
Or is it a fear?
Is it a rose to for my valentine?
What is love? 

Is it only words?
I'm trying to find?
Or is it the way, that we're feeling now?
What is love? 
If love is truth, then let it break my heart.
If love is fear, lead me to the dark.
If love is a game, I'm playing all my cards.
What is love?
Courtesy of

This age-old question has plagued mankind since the beginning of time. And no, I don't have the answer but I'd like to delve into the science of love and attraction in this series of blog posts.

Modern psychology splits love into four categories of love.
1. Compassionate love - Love between friends
2. Fatuous love - Sexual attraction
3. Romantic love - All-consuming sexual attraction and commitment
4. Consummate love - intimacy, passion, and commitment

The ancient Greeks had their own version.
1. Eros - Passionate love
2. Philla - Parental love
3. Agape - God's love for mankind

So let's get scientific for a moment. What is it that makes us feel in love?

It is a neuro peptide called Oxytocin (High levels of this "love hormone" have been observed in couples in the first six months of a relationship - otherwise known as the honeymoon period.). We all have Oxytocin along with other neuro chemicals like Dopamine and serotonin. Oxytocin is the part of us responsible for our social and romantic behaviours.

Courtesy of The Neurosculpting Institute
Oxytocin has been dubbed the hug hormone, cuddle chemical, moral molecule, and the bliss hormone. It's a busy little bee isn't it? What would we do with out it? We all know how important connection in the form of touch and mental stimulation is for well-being. Imagine a life without a hug or any human touch? It's a horrible thought.

Love is complex. Too complex to explore and discuss in one post,  watch out for more in later posts.

Have you, or someone you know, ever fallen in love at first sight?

Love to love
This song by Take That.

Love to laugh
At my grandson dancing to the Wiggles.

Love to learn
About the laws of attraction and what makes us human.


  1. Hi Cassandra, thanks for such an interesting post. As romance writers, I think we are trying to capture the best of romantic and consummate love within our writing. We all need romantic love - love that is filled with excitement and anticipation. It totally captures our senses. We also need consummate love - love still filled with passion, but this love has at its core the all important element of commitment. Commitment to last a lifetime.

    1. Hi Sharon. Yes so true. In the next blog I will be talking about attraction which I'm really looking forward to sharing.

  2. What a fabulous post, Cassandra! I guess we casually talk about love without really thinking about what love actually is. ...I love that you're going to explore it more with us! I don't think I've met anyone who's fallen in love at first sight, but wow, that would be amazing. It makes a good romance, though. This is the first time I've heard the Take That song, it's just lovely. Thankyou.

    1. I'm so glad you enjoyed the post and the song Malvina. I don't think there is a definitive answer to what is love but it sure is fun to research.

  3. Hi Cassandra. I love the way that Love grows and changes once we find that person we want to spend the rest of our lives with. I do believe in love at first sight even though it didn't happen to me - it's such a romantic idea!

    1. Hi Marilyn. I like the idea of love at first sight too.

  4. Hi Cassandra. Great topic. Love is so very complex and hard to explain without splitting it into types. Romantic love is an entity in itself, I think. You have puppy love, that first flush of romantic feelings as you go from child to adolescent, and isn't that intense? Then you have infatuation, that sensation that grabs you tight every time you see the person you fell so into, but that's mainly physical attraction that stays physical. And there's the love that stays and grows and embraces the looks of the person as well as their mind and heart and soul. That's the love we all dream of. For some it happens slowly, for others in an instant - and I've seen it so I do believe it.

    1. Hi Enisa. So we'll put. I believe love can come on slow or fast. The main thing is making it last.


We love getting comments. Why not leave one?!