by Enisa Haines
Romantic love, as often shown in romance novels, is a complex mix of emotions, attitudes and convictions linked with warmth, closeness, attraction and a deep desire for another person. But what makes a person, or a character in a romance novel, feel loved? In The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts Dr Gary Chapman proposes that people feel loved when that love is received in one of five different ways:
Words of affirmation - one partner tells the other they love them or compliments them or encourages them, communication and talking all-important. In Kylie Scott's The Rich Boy, rich boy Beck quotes Jane Austen and makes waitress Alice laugh. How can she resist him?
Quality time - both partners spend time together with no distractions. In Marilyn Forsyth's The Farmer's Perfect Match, reality show PA Evangeline is determined to help find farmer Adam the ideal partner but close proximity has her falling in love with him.
Acts of Service - one partner does things for the other that they know the other will like, showing that actions speak louder than words. In Kelly Hunter's Maggie's Run, cowboy-next-door Max challenges elusive Maggie to live at her inherited property for three months. She doesn't love the place but can he as farm manager change her mind?
Physical touch - one partner holding the other's hands, or kissing them, feeling connected through touch. In Anna Campbell's Seven Nights in a Rogue's Bed, to save her sister's life, Sidonie submits to a terrible fate, seduction by the notorious, hideously scarred scoundrel Jonas. But, defying all logic, seven sinful nights brings a new, fragile love.
Receiving gifts - one partner gives the other a meaningful, thoughtful gift, showing appreciation. In Sarah Mayberry's Her Favourite Temptation, sexy musician Will tempts 'always the good sister' Leah with beautiful songs and a seize-the-day attitude. A powerful connection she can't resist.
Whichever of the five love languages resonates with you, there are romance novels aplenty showing how love is expressed.
How do you feel loved? Do you read romance novels expressing love in that language?
Love to love - anything about love
Love to laugh - at YouTube funny videos
Love to learn - everything about the languages of love
Enisa, how astounding, I had that Gary Chapman book in my hands this morning before I knew it was on your blog! A fabulous read, highly recommend it to everyone. I love all five ways of expressing love and receiving it. Hmm... Might need to reread Gary Chapman again to figure out which one is 'my' love language. One of my favourite tropes, though, is when someone who's been treated badly all their love receives an 'act of service' or 'gift' from someone special. It's often a turning point in the novel. Thoughtful post, Enisa, I must think more!
ReplyDeleteHi Miranda. The Gary Chapman book is intriguing, isn't it? I did the test, and no surprise for me, my love language is 'words of affirmation'.
DeleteI'll have to do the test too. x
DeleteFascinating. I'll have to think on this more.
ReplyDeleteHi Cassandra. The love languages is a fascinating topic and really makes you think more about relationships between characters in books and how they relate to each other.
DeleteWhat an interesting blog, definitely thought-provoking ideas to spark the creative imagination! Anna Campbell's book "Seven Nights in a Rogue's Bed" particularly caught my eye, as it involves not only physical touch in the act of love, but a "bad" boy (I gather from the title). Anyway, I enjoy anything by Anna Campbell.
ReplyDeleteThanks for that blog, Enissa!
Hi Helene, discovering the love languages is fascinating and especially useful for both readers and writers. Wonderful stuff.
DeleteHi Enisa! Thanks so much for the mention of The Farmer's Perfect Match. I always assign a Love Language for each of my main characters as I'm writing because Gary chapman's book made such an impression on me. Quality time was the love language I chose for Adam because of his tragic past. So glad you picked up on that. (The book is also on special on Amazon this month for $3.99 :) ).
ReplyDeleteHi Marilyn. The Farmer's Perfect Match is a great example of Quality time love language, deserving of mention. And a beautiful story, too.
DeleteGary Chapman's book sounds like it gives some great insights. Thanks Enisa!
ReplyDeleteHi Alyssa. The book isgreat when working out character traits and behaviours.
DeleteHi Enisa, what an intriguing post! I've not heard of this idea before but it makes perfect sense. I'm now off to track down Gary Chapman's book :) Thank you!
ReplyDeleteHi Jayne. The book really makes you think about relationships.
ReplyDeleteThanks for such a fascinating post Enisa. I'll now be analysing the romance novels I love in a whole new way. I'm going to seek out Kylie Scott's book
ReplyDeleteHi Sharon. Love languages is a fascinating topic in both novels and real life.
ReplyDelete