Overcoming The Fear

At first glance writing may not seem like the scariest of endeavours. But writers, whether published or not, face an immense mental challenge, and this can turn into a crippling fear.

The first challenge is the empty screen. That flashing cursor waiting patiently for you to fill the page with brilliance.  

Then once you start writing the niggle that the story isn't quite right, that your middle will sag, that your middle does sag, that you're spending hours every day working on something that is an appalling pile of nonsense, even that somewhere there's another writer writing a story almost identical to yours... I call these the Doubt Demons.

The standard advice is to just keep writing... 

While I take Mr Bradbury's point, this kind of advice doesn't help when I'm teetering on the brink of an anxiety attack, consumed with self doubt and scrubbing the toilet as a virtuous form of procrastination.

Fear not, though.  I know way to overcome the dreaded doubt demons.

Its habit.

Humans are habit driven creatures.  Check out The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg for a heap of fascinating research on this subject.  

In my writing I have harnessed this characteristic of habit, and used it to keep motivated and overcome the Doubt Demons.

Motivation-wise I've developed a habit of showing up.  8am, for one hour, I will sit down at my computer to write.  That is my habit.

All I ask of myself is that I show up. That's it. I don't have a word count goal. I don't expect anything else of myself except that at 8am I am seated in front of my laptop.  Sometimes the hour flies by, and I'm there for another two.  Sometimes I've got nothing and spend the time researching (which is fine, the goal is to move the story forward and research will always do this).  Sometimes I'm overwhelmed with self-doubt and can only focus on the washing that needs folding, the toilet that need scrubbing or the dogs who need walking...

This is where I also use habit.

Self doubt, negative self talk, overwhelm, anxiety... this fear, or negative mental state is a habit.  For me, as soon as I lose where the plot is heading, struggle with a scene, or have anything be remotely challenging the Doubt Demons take over my inner dialogue.

These issues are always going to be there when I'm writing. A plot never goes smoothly. Scenes suck. Challenges come out of nowhere.  I cannot change the 'trigger' for the negative self-talk habit.

However, I can (and have) changed my reaction.

First, I don't let myself entertain the negative self-talk.  As soon the inner dialogue starts I redirect it.  I refuse to think negatively.  Generally I give focussing back on the story a go.  Sometimes that works. But not always, so...

Secondly, I think 'ooh a problem to be solved.'  I turn the negativity into something positive and interesting.  I like to solve problems. I find it engaging and enjoyable.  I take time to pick apart the problem, and nut out solutions.

Doubt Demons do not have to have a place in your writing life.  They are a habit.  And habits, with patience, persistence and practice can be changed.

Taking a break from your writing career doesn't mean its broken

I've barely written for the last 3 years, and I haven't blogged in a long time either.  Yet here I am, thinking about what I want to say, carefully choosing my words and remembering how much I enjoy the social media aspect of being a writer.

I was first published way back in 2007, and have been published seven times since.  These days only two of my books are available in e-book form - feel free to check them out!  I'm immensely proud of both of them.

Writing is one of those things that never leaves you.  You can take 3 years off, 10 years... whatever... it doesn't matter it is always there.  The trick is knowing when to stop and when to start, and that question is not nearly as easy as it sounds.

My decision to stop writing was a consciously made one, and the whys-and-wherefores of it would fill a blog post on their own.  Simply put, I burnt out. Big time.  That said, it never occurred to me that I would never write again.  I just knew that for a time writing was not going to be a part of my life.

Then in the middle of last year, the urge to write started to nag.  But I didn't listen, made many excuses, put it off, didn't feel like it, promised myself I'd start tomorrow... this went on for weeks and weeks until a couple of things came together.

First I read The Alchemist - a stunning tale about finding your life's purpose.

Then I had a delightful morning tea with Alyssa Montgomery ... and this led to an invitation to join Breathless in the Bush - putting me right back amongst a group of passionate and knowledgeable writers.

And finally it was the discovery of a woman called Mel Robbins.

Mel's TED talk resonated with me in so many ways, and I immediately grabbed the audio version of her book The Five Second Rule (which I highly recommend, Mel is a talker, not a writer and the audio version of her book works a lot better than the written version).  Well, that book changed EVERYTHING.  Using her techniques I sat down, stopped making excuses, and figured out a plan of what I wanted to do, and how to do it.

Easy huh?

Nope.  Not at all.  I'm still lazy, easily distracted, procrastinating, often napping... but, I'm doing something, every day, towards my writing goals.  I want to write. I want to. I haven't wanted to for the longest time but now the joy is back and I want to.

Taking a break from your writing career, no matter how long or short, doesn't mean its over or broken.  Writing (or music, or quilting, or bog snorkelling... ) is part of who you are, and you can't flick it on and off, it's always there.  But its ok to rest for as long as you need.  It's ok.

Love
Tory x